Aloha and Goodbye

We are getting out of this hellhole for warmer climes tomorrow! Hurrah! I've dealt with Hawaii brain for weeks now. It's bad. I'm no longer able to think critically or communicate. All I do is dream of digging my toes into the warm, warm sand. I've gone through the baby's clothes fondling swimwear and sun hats countless times.
All this woolgathering makes it difficult to work, or run errands, or do anything really. I don't think I've had a real vacation since my honeymoon almost two years ago. I was foolish enough to think my maternity leave would be vacation-esque. Ha! It's amazing how naive a first time Mother can be. I guess maternity leave would be a fun vacation for a masochist who hates sleep, enjoys perineal pain, and gets a thrill from sudden mood swings. I myself think it makes more sense to take a maternity leave when the baby is older, sleeps more, and the body feels less like it was run over by a threshing machine.
But I digress.
HAWAII!!!
Matthew, Ceci and I are flying to Oahu tomorrow for five days with my parents, and then we will spend the weekend on the Big Island with some friends who live outside Kona. Of course I'm worried about flying with baby. If she screams the entire time it will be thrilling for me and all the lucky people around us.
Pray for us.
I might post some pictures while we're there. Until next time, aloha friends!

Our backyard two weeks ago. Spring is bullshit.

Our honeymoon on Kauai! Matthew knows he can only get a bikini photo when I'm at least a half mile away. It's too far to throw a rock.

Working Girl

Well, now that I am just getting the hang of taking care of a tiny human it's back to work for me. Today is the last day of my maternity leave. Why I can't be paid a generous salary for blogging, surfing the Internet, raising Ceci, and drinking coffee all day is beyond me. I'm good at all those things. But the universe sees fit to throw me back into the workforce instead of blessing me with incredible wealth. And because I like to complain (another thing I'm pretty good at), I'd like to mention how lame it is that Washington state, unlike my homeland, does not offer women the opportunity to file for state disability benefits while on maternity leave. Thanks Washington, for being unsupportive of women and families.
On the bright side, my parents are here for a whole month to help out with the baby. Of course, pessimist that I am, I have gruesome fantasies of them accidentally scalding her with their coffee, sitting on her, dropping her, putting her out with the recycling, forgetting to feed her, or forcing her to listen to Garrison Keillor all day. Her little brain would wither.
Logic tells me that none of these things will happen. After all, my parents managed to raise me to adulthood without any fatal snafus. I just love my girl and I don't want to miss out on anything. Sigh.
I'm sure I'll feel better by the end of the week when I see that Ceci is still in one piece and she still knows who I am. And I'll be thrilled to see an actual paycheck again.
I'll leave you with an awesome healthy cookie recipe that actually tastes good and relieves some of that post-holiday binge eating guilt. Adieu for now, the next time you hear from me I'll be a working girl.

Maternity Leave!

Breaking news! I just danced around the living room while I was mopping the floor. Thank God for the Blow. I can't remember the last time I really danced. It felt awesome. Don't worry, the curtains were closed so the neighbors were not subjected to my private bovine house stomp. I was worried that my maternity leave would consist of me wandering around the house trying to clean, but really just bumping into furniture and nagging the cat until Matthew got home.  How wrong I was. I'm a merry housewife, and I'm so jacked up I'm thinking about cleaning the whole house with fungicide just for the hell of it.

In other news, Beth is the winner of the hamburger phone! Congratulations to Beth and to everyone else- thanks for the comments and never fear! I will have another giveaway.