Sunday, January 30, 2011

Martha, You Sassy Wench

If you told me ten years ago I would be reading Martha Stewart's website and cooking her recipes, I would have laughed hard enough to choke on my bong. But here I am, thirty-four years old, happily cooking Martha's food while my husband tickles the baby in the next room. And this sausage tomato risotto is good. Like, really really good. It's good enough that Matthew reluctantly admitted that Martha has some tricks up her sleeve.

Frankly, I'm not sure why he has a grudge against Martha, because I cooked Martha- inspired fish tacos for him on our second date, and he loved that shit. I just tried to find that recipe on her site, but it wasn't there so here's my copy-

And yes, it is written on a beer-stained bar coaster. So what.
I like Martha, she inspires people who don't craft or cook to craft and cook, and that is cool. Maybe someday there will be a "Julie and Julia" type movie about her. Except it would have to be a bit freaky just like Martha. And I'm not talking about tax evasion or whatever. I read an article about her after she was released from prison, and she told the reporter that everything in her country house is black and white, including her animals. She admitted that she never let her black horses out in the light of day, because the sun might bleach their coats to red, and then THEY WOULD NOT MATCH HER HOUSE. Holy Moses. It's hard not to picture wine-drunk Martha, riding her horse through the dark Connecticut night, laughing as her mom hair blows in the wind.


  1. you're funny.

    i'm going to start calling matthew, martha clauer in my mind, just for my own personal amusement. i'd like to see an iron chef battle in the old town kitchen between those two. special ingredient, fennel bulb. martha stands no chance.

  2. I can't cook. At all. Martha is WAY above me.... But it looks yummy!

  3. The fact that you wrote "choke on my bong" and "written on a beer-stained bar coaster" in a Martha Stewart post had me laughing my arse off. And I too have given into the MS movement as I have gotten older.


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