Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Wednesday's Bling is Full of Piss and Vinegar

I love it. I am a huge fan of the multiple- finger ring. But honestly, what is up with the hand model's oddly bloated pinkie finger? God. I know that's rude but at least I'm promoting the product to my 13 faithful readers (and mystery lurkers), right?
I'm really just jealous because I had a dream to be a hand model. I was vain of my hands for many years until I had an unfortunate encounter with a bread knife while working at the Pink Door. Cutting yourself with a serrated knife is some gory shit for real. I went to the ER for stitches and felt like a big baby with my bloody finger when they roomed me between a guy who almost severed his arm with a chainsaw and another guy who was mauled by his own pit bull. These are the people you meet at the ER for folks with no health insurance. 
Seven stitches later my dream died. My left index finger is now Frankenfinger. It's all good. My beauty comes from the inside, obviously. 
So anyway, if you are a mystery reader, leave me a comment already! I'd love to know you. (Unless it's a mean comment, don't do that. I'm ridiculously sensitive).


  1. I think it's just a weird picture- I thought that the ring was a piece of paper someone cut out and stuck on the fingers. True dat- about the ER. When I was 12 I fell off my bicycle and had to visit the ER for stitches. It was a children's hospital yet it was overflowing with middle aged gangstas- so I had to wait in triage with my dad for 6 hours (it was 3 am before we were taken). This one guy stumbled in off the street, holding his hand to his chest. He sat down without signing in and when the nurse asked him if he needed help- he removed his hand from his chest and, eww, blood started squirting everywhere. "Yea, I've been stabbed." That night was enough to make me never want to ride my bicycle again.

    Sorry that your dreams of being a hand model were crushed :-( If it makes you feel any better, I will never be a chin model.

  2. but if you hire a hand model you have to put up with this shit...


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