The sky was glorious today. For the first time, I brought the baby to the backyard and sat with her. It was wonderful to see her soak it all in- the sunshine, the clouds, the warm breeze and the sounds of the train passing nearby. She startled when a bird sang and looked at me quizzically.
"It's a bird", I said.
This is your world, I thought. It came alive when you came into it, and it is heartbreakingly beautiful.
Today was the first day she held a blossom to her face, and studied every petal (before she tried to shove it in her mouth). Today was the first day she listened to a bird's song, and laid on her back under the sky. The wonder on her face was incredible. It's funny that she won't remember any of her first day in the sun, because I think it will be stamped in my mind as long as I live.
It's hard not to think about mortality when you work with ill people. As morbid as it sounds, today I realized that when my time comes, if I'm afraid or in pain, these simple lovely moments will be my sustenance.It comforts me to know this.
If my soul was a gas tank, this girl would be premium petrol.