Friday, April 1, 2011

On Avoiding Perverts In Swimwear

After my last post, it was gently brought to my attention that I would look quite boobylicious in this swimsuit.
I suppose this should have been obvious to me, since I've had a big old rack since my teen years. Since the baby came, they have truly become TERRIFYINGLY GIGANTOR (yes, that is the medical term). I have Godzilla boobs, and Godzilla is obviously a lady (As evidenced by the pregnancy induced RAGE and catfight with Mothra).
Anyway, sometimes when I am shopping online I completely forget to shop for my body type, and instead shop for what I wish my body type was. It is a dangerous and expensive habit.
I am not a fan of wearing swimsuits that showcase my chest. This is partially because I've had unpleasant encounters with masturbating exhibitionists, as well as with catty women who felt compelled to ask me if my cleavage is artificially enhanced. Lame and lame. I'd like to avoid any such future encounters.
It still bothers me that as a teenager I had some adult men expose themselves to me. This happened more than once on the beach. Ick. It's hard for me to separate these instances from my bikini, and from having larger breasts, because I really felt that they were pervert bait hanging right there in front of me.
That is a whole post in itself that I'll write another time. These incidents stopped when I grew into womanhood. Apparently as soon as I resembled an adult I lost my appeal for the creeps in my neighborhood.
There really are a lot of predatory men out there, and Ceci will be trained with a crossbow as soon as I can manage it.
Anyway, now that I've got that off my chest I can move on to swimsuits.
My very helpful friends threw some comments and suggestions my way.
K. suggested this one. Lovely. But I can imagine my boobs sneaking out the top.
A. from This House Gets Crazy at Three O'Clock mentioned this one.
And KJ thought I might want to be even MORE modest and go this route. I mean, if any perv tried to wag his johnson at me in this getup, I'm pretty sure God would smite him immediately.
Have a lovely weekend!
Sportz-Fit-Navy/FB Panels


  1. "There really are a lot of predatory men out there, and Ceci will be trained with a crossbow as soon as I can manage it." I love this line! I read this post the other day- but I was interrupted by the kids over here and wasn't able to respond right away. But, your story has stuck with me. It's awful that you've encountered so many perverts- no one should feel like they need to wear the modesty suit in order to shield the desires of predatory men. I too have had similar situations. But, mine occurred on public transportation (of course, I wasn't wearing a bikini). And I had one stand out incident that occurred while I was rooming in with a 17 year old girl in the hospital after the birth of second baby (the only time I had to share a room). I had to walk past her bed to use the bathroom which meant I also had to walk past her 17 year old boyfriend who blurted out, "Whoa, look at those boobs!" and he turned to his 17 year old girlfriend (the mother of his 2 children) and said, "Why didn't your boobs turn out nice an big like that?" It was disgusting on so many levels.

  2. I'm pretty sure God would make sure anyone who uses the phrase "Wagging a johnson" would never have to face a perv! haha! I'm still smiling! I love that...wag his johnson...


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